In the extensive research carried out to write this tour report a number of stories were told. The names have been removed to protect the innocent(?!) (Further quotes are welcome please send them in!!)
"Having decided to break seven weeks tee-totalness with cheeky vimto and pernod, ageing second row goes on to drink for 12 more hours, chat up two stag parties and gain free entry into 'Reflex'. She then follows this the morning after by vomiting every twenty minutes (in unison with scrum-half at times) much to the amusement of her dorm mates who have to see her climb in and out of the top bunk on each occasion. Having made a concerted effort not to vomit in the cab, said ageing second row then emptied the contents of her already empty stomach one last time, has a quick doze in the changing room before donning the alien number 12 shirt. Ageing second row then goes on to score her first and only try of her 7 year rugby career before sloping off home, her work in Bristol complete!"
"A certain member of the team was police-stopped, allegedley for wearing a dodgy rugby club fleece and bandana and pushing all her belongings around in a trolley with a dirty dog bringing up the rear.."
"After the effect of Friday, poor scrum-half threw up lots on Saturday morning, tried to sleep in a kit bag and was then cruelly forced to stick her head between the sweaty thighs of Stan and a total stranger and to run around wearing a bonnet and a pair of pants over her shorts. This all proved too much for our scrum-half who wandered off the pitch to throw up some more. She hears rumours that the more hardened drinkers amongst the team played an excellent game of rugby both with and without pants over their shorts before drinking shed-loads more and ending up in a gay bar."
"The England knickers had to have a St. George's Cross or they were not have been valid. I got fined for giving mine away to a member of the opposition!!!"
"Alcohol in the Hogs Head in Beckenham was provided by a poor young lass being forced, cup in hand, to blag money off the other afternoon drinkers. Through her great beauty and charm she managed to scrounge no less than £30 out of the drunken assortment of weirdos, including 10 guys who support Beckenham RFC!"
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